Beersketball
This is the ultimate trash talkin’, sack tossin’ entertainment for party time ballers. So if that’s you - read on sweet fun lover. You’ll find the basic game here and the rest is cleverly hidden online. Scan this beautiful QR code for ‘em.
NOTE: Each game comes with a ‘Portable Beersketball’ version for when you leave your wood at home.
Setup:1. Screw the two L hooks into the pre-drilled holes below the colorful circle on the backboard.
2. Hang your Beersketball game anywhere you want, including your roof rack bar hanging over your vehicle at tailgates, off your Bamboozit pole at the beach, or in your Man Cave, She Shed, or office, if you still have one.
3. With all games on or off the backboard, roll the lip of the basket down .75-1" to make a cuff like rolling your jeans. This provides surprising rigidity to this cotton beauty. That way if you chuck a brick, you don't mash the sidewall.
4. Slide the basket onto the two hooks on the backboard. Wiggle it a little to get the hooks to go through the pore space in the crochet. Ensure the hooks go through both the basket and its cuff.
5. Stick one Tee into each teams' bottom single hole on the colorful track. It's game time!
The Ole Sink & Drink
Go head to head with your buddy or throw down in teams of 2. Agree on a distance from the Beersketball Board and stay behind it for each toss. Then take turns to try and sink the sack. Each sunken shot scores the same, so it doesn’t matter if you bang it in off the backboard or not. However, the money shot is important (but you knew that already). For that you need the Moneyball (solid/dotted colored ball). That bad boy should be the last ball to leave your hands and scores a bonus point. Did we mention the 2-point line? Once the 1-point line is established, pick a harder line for the 2 pointer. Then when you are feelin’ desperate or confident, go deep for the extra point. Moneyball arithmetic: Yup, you are the math whiz your Mom always hoped you’d be: 1 Moneyball from the 2 point line does indeed fetch you 3 points.
Advance your Tee around the track by the number of points you scored that round until it arrives at the original bottom hole.
Party rules:
What are those colored stripes on the scoring track? Actions. Land on red? You might have to shoot on one leg next round or opposite handed. Yellow? Well that looks like beer to us - so take a chug. Blue? -makes us think of water. So you might have to to take a big gulp of water. Soon playing card decks and/or an app will be launching with game themes. Till we launch that app make up your own consequences* for those colors - cut us some slack folks, we still listen to our old grateful dead tapes… we sell hippie frisbees and other crocheted party games. We’ll get it out there eventually.
As for the drinking bit...we don’t need to tell you what to do there (and yes - water does count as a drink. Hydrate! The inside of your forehead and your boss will both thank us tomorrow morning.)
*Consequences
Just like in real life, actions in the Beersketballverse have consequences. But you choose what they are. It might be having to buy a drink for the winner of the round or a complete stranger, or downing your own. If you
make up any dandies, send them our way. If you become a prolific provider of consequences, and have some game in you, we might add you to our Beersketball hall of fame.
Portable Beersketball Version:
Pop the basket off and place it inside something a little larger, like a bowl, bucket, camping pot, or even a little crater in the sand at the beach. Take turns as before but this time a sack sinker in the cotton scores 2 points and you get 1 point if the ball lands in the bowl, bucket or whatever. It’s a quicker scoring game-on-the-go and perfect for preloading before you hit the pub.
Faster, you say? Ok then:
You need 2 teams of 2 and some quick draw shooting skills. Play anywhere. Sit opposite your partner with the Beersketball basket in the middle of you, normally on a table. Each player gets 2 of the team's color coded balls. Moneyballs don't matter in this game - they just go with their team's color. One ball is in front of you and one is over on the corner of the table. Everyone counts ‘1, 2, 3, go!' and the action begins. All players shoot at once. You must tap your ball on the table before each shot. Failure to tap means the ball has to be re-shot and you score a consequence*. Each partner has to make two balls in the basket. It can be any of your team's 4 balls, not just the 2 in front of you, so shoot their missed balls right away. Make any two of your team's balls before your partner does, then all you can do is pass any wayward balls back to them, whilst gently (or not) encouraging them to hurry the heck up and make their 2. First team to down all 4 balls wins that round, whilst the losing team scores a consequence. (Optional) After each round, move one space to the left and play again. Best 3 outta of 5 wins the set. Play as many sets as you can handle.
Pro Level Game Rules
- When shooting, your hand and elbow have to stay beyond the edge of the table. Breaking this rule scores a consequence and your ball comes out if you made it. The trick is to scoot your chair back so your knees are out from under the table.
- You can’t shoot your 2nd (the corner) ball until you’ve downed at least one ball - your first ball or your partner's missed ball are both fine for you to shoot.
- Tip the basket and your ball comes out...and it’s consequence time.
Beersketball Tips
Want to increase the difficulty of any of these games? Try these positions to bust your balls:
The Gordo Gringo
Mash the basket down on the table a bit or push the bottom up when on the backboard. All those wrinkles and folds make it like a real middle age struggle. The shallower the basket, the harder to get all 4 of your balls in there.
Tijuana Taco?
Pinch the rim together (when on the board, push the front towards the back) and fire away at the tighter target.
Colombian Clam
When playing on the table or poolside, pinch the top and bend forward towards the shooters. A real double whammy, this one is tighter and shallower, making for all sorts of mischief!
Pool, river, or lake fun?
Ya we got you! The balls float, the basket don't. Set the basket on a lifejacket or raft, the side of the pool, or on a rock in the river or lake. The balls will be soaked and heavy so be sure to soak the basket too to make it heavier. Otherwise these heavy balls will overwhelm it and the basket will tip.
The Beersketball Position
We want everyone to have a good time. In a complicated world, this is some uncomplicated sh*t. But never push someone too far. You know what we mean. Having a good time means everyone has a good time. So look out for your fellow Beersketball Players and take care of each other. Play fast and play hard – but always play fair. Remember to drink responsibly and occasionally chug some water. You'll thank us tomorrow
